The Blood Donor
The Missing Page
The Reunion Party
Hancock Alone (The Bedsitter)
The Radio Ham
12 Angry Men
A Winter's Tale
The Italian Maid
There are many Hancock scripts from the radio and the TV. We have currently adapted the most popular scripts and these will be added to. If you have any specific scripts that you would like to perform that aren't on the current list please contact David Pibworth at the office. There is no problem with adapting any of those not listed. All we ask is that they are submitted to the office for Ray and Alan to look at and approve.
The "HANCOCK'S HALF HOUR" scripts
1. THE FIRST TV SHOW
Hancock's first TV show is jeopardized by his broken leg, but Sid insists that the show must go on and arranges a transmission from Hancock's hospital bed.
2. THE ARTIST
Up-and-coming artist Hancock buys some old canvasses to paint over, little realising that one of them is a stolen Rembrandt. Sid's "fence" is forced to buy all Hancock's paintings in an attempt to retrieve the Rembrandt.
3. THE DANCER
Hancock is offered a part in a film, provided that he can dance. Sid arranges lessons, and Hancock enters for a dancing Championship Contest with Sid (in drag) as his partner.
4. THE BEQUEST
Hancock is left a fortune by his Uncle Obadiah, on condition that he gets married. With the help of the Sid James Marriage Bureau, he starts looking for a wife.
5. THE RADIO SHOW
From the National Radio Show at Earl's Court. Several sketches including the British answer to the Red Army Choir.
6. THE CHEF THAT DIED OF SHAME
The story of the pie-stall cook who rises to the heights of haute cuisine and falls again through drink.
1. THE ALPINE HOLIDAY
After an argumentative flight, Hancock has to dispute possession of his hotel room with an attractive French girl. He then finds himself sharing a room with a yodeller and an alpine horn player.
2. LADY CHATTERLEY'S REVENGE
The East Cheam Repertory Company gives Hancock a small part in "Moon over Tahiti" and then omits to inform him when the play is changed to "Lady Chatterley's Revenge".
3. THE RUSSIAN PRINCE
Suffering from temporary amnesia after a bump on the head, Hancock is persuaded by Sid that he is Prince Nicolai, the last heir of the Russian Royal Family's fortune. However, he is not the only claimant....
4. THE NEW NEIGHBOUR
The new next-door neighbour has Hancock worried. He keeps bringing in bodies and dumping them in the incinerator. In fact, he melts down old waxworks to make new ones, but Hancock is determined to investigate.
5. THE PIANIST
Hancock dreams that his job as a night-club pianist leads him into a romance with a foreign Baroness - and a duel with her fiance.
6. THE AUCTION
Sid and Hancock auction off their property in order to go to Monte Carlo to try out Sid's infallible roulette system. Then they discover that their stuffed eagle had been stuffed with banknotes.
1. THE CONTINENTAL HOLIDAY
Hancock tells Sid the story of his eventful holiday abroad, in which he foiled an international gang of smugglers.
2. THE GREAT DETECTIVE
Hancock dreams of being "Sexton Hancock", unravelling a complicated murder mystery.
3. THE AMUSEMENT ARCADE
Hancock leads an anti-vice campaign to close down Sid's amusement arcade. Sid tries to prevent Hancock's election to the Council, and then - when he is closed - moves his arcade to Hancock's house.
4. A HOLIDAY IN SCOTLAND
Under doctor's orders to get fit, Hancock drags an unwilling Sid on a hunting holiday in Scotland, where they get snowed in.
5. AIR STEWARD HANCOCK
Hancock's first flight as air steward is nearly his last. His passengers include four policemen looking for a bank robber, and Sid who has hidden his loot in Hancock's briefcase.
6. THE REGIMENTAL REUNION
Hancock, permanent junior clerk in a City office for 19 years, is promoted when his Army friends meet at a reunion and place large orders with the firm. Unfortunately, they are all frauds - and Sid has the takings.
7. THE ADOPTED FAMILY
Hancock has to produce a wife and four children to get to the top of the list for a Council house. So he adopts Sid and four of Sid's mates and then can't get rid of them.
8. THE ELOCUTION TEACHER
Under Hancock's tuition, Jack Hawkins sinks from famous actor to the leader of a rock and roll group.
9. THE LAWYER
Hancock's impassioned plea of innocence of an obviously guilty Sidney James results in a verdict of James - innocent, Hancock - guilty.
10. HOW TO WIN MONEY AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE
Hancock has entered, and won, a number of newspaper competitions. However, Sid volunteers to look after the money, and Hancock is foolish enough to let him.
11. THERE'S AN AIRFIELD AT THE BOTTOM OF MY GARDEN
Sid has sold Hancock a house on the edge of an airfield. Hancock is dissatisfied, and when Sid refuses to refund his money, he tries to sell the house with considerable difficulty.
12. THE EAST CHEAM REPERTORY COMPANY
A special show from the Television Theatre, including a dramatic rendering of "The Three Musketeers".
1. ERICKSON THE VIKING
Hancock is worried about the first show of his new TV series and with good reason, as Sid has starred him in a tattily made film about the Vikings.
2. UNDERPAID ! OR GRANDAD'S S.O.S.
Hancock's millionaire grandfather is dangerously ill in Australia. In anticipation of a large bequest, Sid goes to Australia masquerading as Hancock, only to find that the old man has no money left. Meanwhile, Sid's grandfather is dangerously ill...in prison.
3. THE SET THAT FAILED
Hancock's TV set has broken down. Appalled at the idea of a TV-less evening, he and Sid try various ruses, including joining a family who are so intent on their TV that they don't notice the intruders.
4. THE NEW NOSE
Hancock's success with the girls is hampered by his nose - or so he thinks. Humiliated, he barricades himself in the house, until Sid suggests plastic surgery.
5. THE FLIGHT OF THE RED SHADOW
With "The Desert Song" closed prematurely, and the cast after them for money, Hancock and Sid escape with only their theatrical costumes. Disguised as an Indian Maharajah, Hancock is mistaken for a genuine visiting Maharajah, and finds himself addressing a meeting.
6. THE HORROR SERIAL
In a nervous state after watching the last episode of "Quatermass and the Pit" on TV, Hancock discovers a strange object buried in his garden. Sid calls in the Army Bomb Disposal Squad, but Hancock is convinced it is a Martian spaceship.
7. THE ITALIAN MAID
Hancock hires an Italian maid, who turns out to be such a beauty that an immediate rivalry develops between him and Sid. Hancock finishes up doing all the housework for her - and then her family arrives...
8. MATRIMONY - ALMOST
Hancock meets a girl at a pyjama party arranged by Sid for some upper-class twits. He thinks she has money, and Sid tells her than Hancock has money - and so a marriage is rapidly arranged.
9. THE BEAUTY CONTEST
Deterred from holding a beauty contest by the low standard of entrants, the East Cheam Council decides to hold a 'Mr East Cheam' contest instead. Hancock and Sid both see themselves as natural winners.
10. THE WRONG MAN
Hancock agrees to take part in an identity parade and is picked out by three witnesses as the man who robbed a tobacconist's. Protesting his innocence, he sets about finding the real thief.
11. THE OAK TREE
Hancock's pride and joy - the oak tree in his garden - is threatened with removal. He organises a protest march, and then a local demonstration to save it.
12. THE KNIGHTHOOD
Hancock is determined to get a knighthood, and takes up a career as a Shakespearian actor - interpreting all his parts in the style of Long John Silver. His goal - the Old Vic.
13. THE SERVANTS
The TV series is over, and Hancock and Sid need jobs. They dress up as an elderly couple to get a job as servants, but when they start to take it in turns to be the woman, their employers get suspicious...
1. THE ECONOMY DRIVE
Returning from holiday to find that Sid has left every electrical appliance in the house running, forgotten to cancel the papers and the milk and left the car ticking over, Hancock embarks on an economy drive that leads him into difficulties in a self-service cafeteria.
2. THE TWO MURDERERS
Hancock refuses to lend Sid the money to open a fish and chip shop. When he sees Sid reading a book about perfect murders he assumes that Sid is out to murder him for his money and manages to give Sid the impression that it is Sid whose life is in danger.
3. LORD BYRON LIVED HERE
The Council will renovate Hancock's dilapidated house only if somebody famous once lived there - so Sid scribbles some doggerel on the walls where he has stripped the wallpaper off and convinces Hancock that they were written by Byron. The National Trust are not so easily convinced, so Hancock opens his house to the public.
4. TWELVE ANGRY MEN
Hancock stands out against his fellow jurors in believing a petty criminal innocent. Sid, attracted by the daily payment to jurors, joins him, and they set about browbeating the others.
5. THE TRAIN JOURNEY
Hancock's fellow passengers on the train to Giggleswick quickly get irritated by his efforts to enliven the long journey.
6. THE CRUISE
Already fed up with his cruise because the only woman showing an interest in him is large and over-amorous, Hancock wrongly believes the ship is sinking, panics, and has to be locked up by the Captain. Escaping, he and Sid attend the fancy dress ball. So does the amorous lady.
7. THE BIG NIGHT
Hancock's Saturday night out with Sid is an unmitigated disaster. The launderette tears his shirt to pieces, the barber cuts his face to ribbons, the girls Sid has provided disappear at the sight of Hancock, and they get thrown out of the local cinema.
8. THE TYCOON
Hancock's shares have plummeted in value - all except the East Cheam Building Society. Attending their shareholders' meeting, Hancock falls asleep and dreams that he owns half the world; but even in is dreams, Sid twists him.
9. SPANISH INTERLUDE
The only work Sid can find for Hancock is standing in national dress outside various foreign restaurants. Deciding to try fresh fields, they go to Spain - where, after an unsuccessful attempt as a night-club comic, Hancock becomes a reluctant bullfighter.
10. FOOTBALL POOLS
Hancock needs only one more draw for a first dividend, and the match is a local one with a late kick-off. He and Sid go to the match - to encourage each side equally.
1. THE COLD
In desperation with his sixth cold of the winter, Hancock tries a variety of patent medicines, a local 'witch', a doctor who has a cold himself, and at Sid's instigation, a keep-fit course.
2. THE MISSING PAGE
Hancock is reading a murder mystery from the library - but the last page is missing. After keeping Sid up all night trying to work out 'who done it', he determines to track down a complete copy.
3. THE EMIGRANT
Hancock wants to emigrate, but no-one will have him. Sid gets him a passage on a disreputable tramp steamer, telling the crew to dump him at the first bit of land they see.
4. THE REUNION PARTY
Hancock has planned a 'fifteen years after' reunion with his wartime Army friends, but times change - and so do people.
5. SID IN LOVE
Sid has fallen in love with a clippie on the 93 bus route. Hancock's efforts to help, cause chaos and upset both the clippie and the driver - her husband.
6. THE BABYSITTERS
Hancock and Sid are employed as baby sitters in a plush modern house. After raiding the larder, arguing over the television, and failing to soothe the baby, they go to sleep - and so don't notice a visit from two burglars.
7. THE LADIES MAN
Hancock's total lack of success with women leads him to take a charm school course. We see his daydreams of what life will be like when he has completed the course - the the reality is somewhat less satisfactory...
8. THE PHOTOGRAPHER
Having broken his ancient camera, Hancock invests in an expensive array of new equipment. His attempts at candid photography get him thrown out of a restaurant: and then Sid talks him into posing for a 'news' photo - on a high ledge...
9. THE EAST CHEAM CENTENARY
The Council decides to celebrate the centenary by holding a Carnival. Hancock sells exclusive coverage to the BBC - but the Mayor has sold exclusive coverage to ITV. Hancock has to provide his own carnival at short notice.
10. THE POISON PEN LETTERS
Hancock is most upset by a succession of unpleasant letters. He calls in the police, but eventually Sid discovers that Hancock is writing the letters himself - in his sleep.
1. THE BEDSITTER (HANCOCK ALONE)
Alone in his Earls Court bed-sit, Hancock tries to read, fails to get the TV working and almost gets invited to a party.
2. THE BOWMANS
Hancock plays 'Old Joshua Merryweather' in a radio series which sounds suspiciously like 'The Archers' - until his behaviour causes him to be written out of the script. He turns to doing TV commercials, until the listeners demand the return of 'Old Joshua'.
3. THE RADIO HAM
Hancock exchanges comments on the weather and plays chess with remote parts of the world, but when he intercepts a distress call, events conspire to prevent him arranging a rescue.
4. THE LIFT
Hancock is the ninth passenger in a lift which is designed to carry eight. When the lift sticks between floors, and stays there all night, his attempts to cheer everybody up are not appreciated by the others.
5. THE BLOOD DONOR
Hancock's sense of public duty leads him to give blood - although he is alarmed when he discovers that he is expected to part with as much as a pint.
6. THE SUCCESSION - SON AND HEIR
Deciding that he needs children to carry on his line, Hancock proposes to three girls - and get three refusals. He is still arguing with the third when the other two return, having changed their minds.